She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
