i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
