I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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