Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
