and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
