quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
