Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
