Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
