The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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