I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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