what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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