He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
