I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
