Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
