he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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