: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
