I only kidnapped one of them. chill
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
