he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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