She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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