You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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