I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize