i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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