i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
