I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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