Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
