Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
