One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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