i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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