maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
