ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
