We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just googled if crying burns calories
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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