Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
