the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
