ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
