Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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