Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
