So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
