what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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