I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
