xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This baby is an asshole
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
