Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Let's get the cat blown out
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
