just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
