he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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