what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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