Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
