Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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