i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
