I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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