either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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