3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
