i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
