The maid of honor just puked.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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