I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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